I am one of those girls who hides in the dark,I am hiding behind masks,I am hiding behind broken promises, I am surrounded by darkness. I am fragile, I am beautiful. I am self conscious, I am trying to hard to be something I am not, I am unique, I am adopted, I am loved by my families and I love my families, I am alone, I am surrounded, I am depressed, I am smart, I am creative, I am talented, I am over weight, I am big chested, I am alive but I feel dead inside, I am fleeting, I am in love, I am unsure of love, I am broke, I am jobless, I am a dreamer, I am religious, I am honest, I am a liar, I am waiting, I am a girl, I am here, I am me.
This is my first post on my first blog. I do not expect this to go viral or for anyone to care; however, I am posting this to write down my journey. Starting from here on out, I will write about my life, my struggles, my battles, my accomplishments. Maybe, I can inspire others to accomplish their dreams, maybe not. However, this is my dream. This is me.
My focus today: Loosing weight.
Right now I am 209 pounds. I am 5'1'' and as you may know that makes me obese. I want to get down to 135!!! Today I had a croissant with sausage and egg and a donut with a large Dunkin Donuts coffee. Not the best start to the day but I am not planning on splurging anymore than I did. I have not excersized yet for the day, but I plan too!
Music of the day: Krewella--Alive
I like this song, it represents so much about me.
Something about me:
Right now I am 23 years old. I have short hair, growing in after being shaved. I have 3 cats. KitKat McKitterz (Sir Pudgington the 3rd), Hazelnut (Captain Fuzzlebutt) and Calisto (Stinker butt). And a roomie named Abby. I am not in school, but working on getting into mortuary school. I just recently lost my job and am looking for a new one. I am adopted and I have a 'tragic' and 'distrubed' past, but I don't let that rule who I am as a person. In fact I think it makes me stronger and I love my biological family and my adopted family. I have two biological brothers named Cole and Matt who I love with all my heart. I have an adopted older brother named Jeff who is awesome and loves video games and sci-fi just like me :] I have my "sisters" Kristin who is far away and I miss, Sydney who is a beautiful and talented girl, and Letha who I love. I am single right now but I am in love with someone special to my heart. He is far away from me and in harms way in the army. I am in the 'School of Rock' program taking lessons with the guitar and vocals. I am struggling financially and trying my best to get out of this repetitive cycle.
What I did today:
I woke up at 7:30 this morning and changed into my pj's and went back to sleep and woke up to my roommate gluing a statue back together. We talked for a while and then I went and laid back down and accidently fell asleep. I finally got up at 2:30 and got dressed. We went to Verizon to fix my internet and then had a bite to eat at Dunkin Donuts. Where we saw an Asian man that looked like Johnny Depp. We then came back to the apartment and she took off to spend SuperBowl with her family. I tried calling mine a few times but have not received an answer yet so I am typing this from my living room on my roommates computer. I played with the cats a bit and fed them. Picked up around the apartment and have decided to listen to some music and work out.
What time is it: 5:44pm here.
Date: 2/4/2013
Eat more not less. It's actually a lot of work to eat right but dont let that get you down. You're 5'1 and a woman so your ass, hips and boobs will always carry weight. That's not a bad thing. What I'm getting at is that you cant look at a scale as a judge of health or image. But you're not a kid anymore so that means your metabolism is getting slower and slower. You have to speed it up by eating more but fewer calories and even fewer of those calories from fat. Ill link you some ideas for speeding it up.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing. You'll get better and better over time. http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/9-tips-to-increase-metabolism.htm